Monday, July 04, 2005

A Recent Bush - Sharon Phone Conversation

The hot line from Washington to Jerusalem where P.M.(puppet manager) Ariel Sharon gets his
marching orders

Sharon is nervous and calls his master and overlord Geroge, King of all Earth,or so he thinks.

S. Mr. President ,I'm afraid the people of Israel are beginning to realize what you are planning with this Palestinian state.

B. Arik,listen,listen ,don't panic,it's all gonna work out,throw them a bone and get their attention on something else.
General Ward will help you ,He's my ears and feet on the ground there, you gotta trust me with Israel's security,this is a good plan I have.
Be patient ! I warned Abbas to hold his forces off on until after your surrender ,I mean retreat ,no,no disengagement. Gosh ,it's all so confusing.
Keep a straight face and smile more often.If you look panicked ,it's going to show on your face and it's all about putting on a good face for the camera's.

S.Yes sir ,Mr. President but....
I keep getting flashes of Neville Chamberlain and where his appeasment brought the world...

B. I told you before not to bring that comparision up! Don't bring it up again! You gota have faith IN ME ! Look at how well Iraq is going. I know the concessions I demand of your citizens are painful ,but soon it will all pay off.

S. Yes ,but why is it always we who suffer for your peace plan .,Mr President ?

B. (ignoring Sharon's question) Look, we got to spread out the dismemberment of your country so it dosn't look so dastardly and awake your sleeping and neutered citizens. If they get a whiff of what I've got planned and wake up then it won't go as smoothly as we planned. Look at Iraq as the model ,I promise to deliver peace even though it looks like chaos and destruction,to Israel. The majority see it as peace, progress and advancing of democracy and freedom.
I can sell it thanks to the comatose state of the people of Israel.
Why ,even a cheap Texas whore dosn't give it up for free ,but you Jews sure do.
You get nothing but squeezed for more,thats some good orange juice.
You're so easy ,ha,ha,ah,ha ,ahh it's a tough job ,but someone's gotta do it !

S. Mr. president, Why do I have to take all of the heat for your plan ?

B. You don't have any choice and you know it,my friend. Look ,it's all gonna work ,I told you before , look at it like a sick body with cancer, We'll operate and remove both of Israel's legs ,the good arm, and part of the head and what's left of Israel will be fine ,I PROMISE !
Look ,we've got a serious threat with this global Islamic uprising and we have to appease ,NO ,I mean we have to show my moderate moslem friends that Israel is willing to sacrifice much for peace.
They promised if I delivered this for them that they would call off the dogs of jihad.

S. Do you trust them ,Mr. President ?

B. Well ,it's only Israel that I sacrifice to them so trust is not important,you know what they say about cracking a few eggs for a good omlet. Israel is worth the sacrifice and you know the offer for a nice apartment overlooking Central Park ,it's all yours ,just don't screw this up for me Arik !

S. yes sir Mr. President, by the way what floor is the condo on and does it have a private elevator ,I'm going to need one after this.


Batya said...

Wonderful! Welcome to the world of Jewish-Israeli blogging!

Yoel.Ben-Avraham said...

An employer of mine once asked me how I could joke when things got very tense! Instinctively I answered him: "I'm Jewish". "What the heck does that have to do with it?" my impatient boss responded.

"You know Jewish history and all the tragedies we suffered, right?" I asked! When he responded that he did, I explained to him the Jewish Facts-of-Life. "We had two options, either to drown in our own tears or learn to see the irony of the situation. We're still around so I guess its clear which option was chosen ..."

Thanks for the little bit or irony I needed to get through this day!

Yoel, Shilo
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