Burning Bush

MOSES MEETS A BURNING BUSH

by Barry Chamish

And Moses saw a George Bush aflame. Consumed by curiosity, he approached the Bush and it said to him, "Moses, take off your shoes. You are on holy land." To which Moses humbly answered, "In that case, you're better off if I keep my shoes on."Said the Bush, "I am the god of Adam, Mayer and Benedict. You will do my bidding. Get the Jews out of the Land of Israel.""They won't like that. I think they want to stay.""I have prepared the way for you. I have commanded my emissary Richard Jones to order the wise legal felon Nurit Beinish to take all civil rights from those who dwell on their ancient land. I have commanded the trembling cup of iniquity Olmert to remove the arms of the dwellers and to pass to the Philistines 50 Armored Carriers from the land of the Rus. If the Jews darest to rebel,they shall be slaughtered like sheep in a pen. I will appear before the tribes on the ninth of January and they shall be enamored of me and they shall obey me.""Playing the devil's advocate, if you don't mind, the Jews will guardeth you with the gang that murderethed Rabin. Praise be to vicious Peres.""Pereth, ahem, Peres worketh with the Holy See, god of Blair our ambassador, blessed be his name. How Tony lovest to watcheth I Love Lucifer. The Jews are indeed a vile and stupid people. You killeth them and they canst not perceive what thou has wrought. We just knocked off another one, the wretched Ido Zoldan. The blessed Shabak arrestedth the murderers and turned them over to the Philistines, who voweth to liberate the heroes. Thou Shalt Murder, sayeth the burning Bush and the wicked Jews believeth their leaders coordinated it not with the enemy. We knowest well how to destroy our perfidious foes. And no mortal piece of dust canst stoppeth us. I am a god, I am in all places at all times watching over my domain. Except Fargo, North Dakota, but do not getteth me started.""Come not to Jerusalem I beseechest of thee. The children of Israel awaiteth thee.""The children of Israel? They're perfectly grown already. They must to desist being called kiddies. Yet they are a wicked breed and simpleminded. Hast we not infiltrated all their trusted tribes? Hast they no one left to lead them? To rebel against the burning Bush, they are required to act alone. They would rather die before they defendeth their land. They remain the servants of god, and thus, I say, cannot eateth in the main dining room. Moses, thou must abide by me. Stareth at the ground. Below you will see a cobra. Pluck it into your hand.""I defy my lord Bush, for I am willful and stubborn. I heareth it really stingeth when it biteth.""It was my will to turn it into a rod, but okayeth. When the Jews are finally expelled or slaughtered, we will meet again at this mountain. I will giveth thee two tablets. Taketh them and calleth me in the morning."